


The Wake of Your Smile

by LusciaKoushiro



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Past Trans Pregnancy, Referenced Trans Pregnancy, Trans Keith (Voltron), Trans Male Character, afab language, original child character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21945343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LusciaKoushiro/pseuds/LusciaKoushiro
Summary: Keith's daughter asks Santa to give a present to her dad.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Past Adam/Shiro
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	The Wake of Your Smile

The cries of a little girl rang through the crowds of the mall, small feet tapped hurriedly along the linoleum flooring as she ran away from the long line of children waiting to see Santa Claus. It was odd that no one really made a move to stop her, instead they just looked on and muttered about how some people needed to control their children. That was until she ran right into someone; a tall man wearing black jeans and a white sweater underneath a thick black coat. He had short white hair and a beard to match, his silver eyes wide in surprise at the sudden weight that pressed against his leg.

He looked down to see a girl with jet black hair and when she looked up, he could see stars behind the tears within her violet eyes.

She sniffed as her eyes locked with his and through her sobs she said; “Santa?”

The man didn't have the heart to correct the child, seeing as she was clearly upset. Instead he knelt down so he was eye level with her; “Are you alright?” his voice was soothing and calm.

She hiccuped while rubbing her eyes and shaking her head.

The man gave her a smile and held out his hand. With all her faith, she took it without question as he brought her to a nearby bench and sat her on his knee. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket to gently wipe the tears away; “What's your name?”

“H-Hima...Himalia.” she stuttered between breaths.

Himalia, one of Jupiter's outer moons the man realized. Seeing the stars in her eyes once more, he couldn't have pictured a better name for the child. “That's a very pretty name.” He paused as he watched her calm down. He looked around, among the crowd, but saw no one frantically looking for the girl; “Where are your mom and dad?” he asked.

She shook her head, eyes looking down and sad; “Papa is working.”

“Oh... what about your mom?”

Another shake of her head; “No mommy.” she whispered.

The man fought the urge to wince, biting his lip as if it would help him word his next question with a little more care. “I see... who are you here with?”

“School...”

Taking a look at her again, the man gauged her to be around four years of age. He looked back towards where she had come running from and could see the long line of kids about her age at the winter display. “Ah, well we should get you back before your friends and teachers get worried.”

The tears started again.

“Himalia?”

She said not a word, just continued to cry. The man gently placed her in a hug, rubbing her shoulders and just let her cry it out. He whispered sweet nothings to calm her and it seemed to have worked. She calmed enough to whisper out something that sounded like; “They're mean.”

“Who's mean?”

“Billy and Jamie and, and Monica.... everyone.” she squeaked with more tears on the way.

It hurt just hearing this small voice making a list of people who she felt treated her badly. “What did they do?”

She sniffled; “They say bad things about Papa... that he's not like everyone...”

“Oh, sweetie, no two same people are alike. Everyone's different.”

She nodded, but didn't look up. “They tellded me I don't get presents cause of Papa or I will get leftovers cause...” she sniffed again; “cause no body likes them... like... like no body likes me...” She broke down again.

His heart shattered then; how could anyone be this cruel. Like before, he held her close and let her cry. All the while, he let his right hand roam in the large bag he had been carrying. It was a large red shopping bag filled with toys that he was going to take to Toys for Tots. He felt something soft and pulled it out, he could always go back to the store and rebuy it or something of the like, but right now this little girl needed a smile. He brought it close to the child, booping her on the nose with the plastic one of the stuffed animal.

“Santa, never gives anyone leftovers.” he said, watching as her eyes focused on the small koala plush in his hand. Her eyes seemed to light up a bit at the sight of the stuffed animal; “Every gift is special, so long as thought and care is taken.” he placed the toy in her hands.

She hugged it fiercely. He waited a few minutes, but before he could say they should go back to her class again she said; “Can I ask for something for my Papa?”

He nods, but unsure what he could dig out of the bag that an adult could find entertaining. Though, he himself had a soft spot for stuffed animals.

“Can you make him smile?” she asked.

“What?” he said, after his brain caught up to the request.

“Papa is sad...”

“Why is he sad?”

She shrugged her little shoulders; “I don't see him... He works all the time....”

The man fought the frown coming on; if there was no mother in the picture it was possible that she was being brought up by her father alone. Working more than one job made sense, as sad of a truth as that was. “I bet you make him smile though.”

Another shrug.

“I bet you do, in fact I know you do, even if you don't see it. Every time he sees you, every time you say 'I love you', every time you give him a hug. I know he thinks about it all day long.”

“But my hugs are so small...” she whispered.

“It's not the size of the hug that matters.” he said with a smile, grabbing the bottom of the plush to push it up against the girl's face in a nuzzle; “It's the koala-ty.”

She giggled at the flicks of faux fur of the plushie and a smile was soon on her face as she heard him say; “He loves you very much and all he needs to make him smile is you.”

She nodded.

“Now, lets get you back to your classmates before everyone worries.” he placed her onto the floor and took her hand in his left and grabbed the bag in his right, but not even two steps from the bench did a voice boom through the crowd.

“Hima, there you are!” Said the blonde woman who was running towards them.

“Auntie!” Himalia dropped the man's hand and ran towards the blonde woman; her hair done in pigtails with a braid around the crown of her head. Her violet eyes holding such relief as she embraced the little girl.

The man smiled, but as their eyes locked, he suddenly felt uneasy and nervous under her gaze.

“Auntie Rommie, look what Santa gave me!” she said happily, somehow all the sadness and weight had disappeared.

Auntie Rommie or Romelle looked down to her niece and smiled at the stuffed toy in her hands; “He's very cute.” she said, before looking up a second time and standing, but the man was no longer in sight.

Himalia turned too, to say thank you, but also saw him gone; “Santa?”

Romelle shook her head with a smile, taking the young girl's hand; “Come on, let's get back to everyone.”

***

“I'm telling you, it was Shiro.” Romelle said to Himalia's father once the girl was up in her room and tucked in for her afternoon nap.

The girl's father, Keith, was sliding into a pair of sneakers and leather jacket and getting ready to leave the house. “I really don't think so.” he said, fixing his braid.

“And what makes you think he wouldn't come back?”

“It's been four years, Roms. I haven't heard so much as a peep from him since that blackout period. If he was coming back, I would hope he or Adam would have said something to me.”

Though deep down he knew that was a stretch. Shiro had enlisted and was set to deploy not long after he and Adam had gotten married. Keith and Shiro had been best friends since they were kids; sharing their hopes and dreams and even the most personal secrets with each other, save for one.

Keith never told Shiro how he really felt about him; too afraid of losing what they already had if something shouldn't work out. And before he could second guess that choice, Shiro had met a teacher named Adam. He was tall and handsome, smart and sweet. It was hard not to like him and he could see why Shiro fell for him the way he did. After all, Adam also didn't come with the baggage that he did.

His own mother had been in the service and was away more often than not, his father a fireman who tragically passed away in the line of duty. He moved from foster home to foster home until his mother found her way back. He could never say he hated his mother, not by a long shot, but it didn't stop him from resenting her for awhile during his teens, when he felt he needed his dad the most. Who else was to teach him what it meant to be a man? Only... to his dad, he was his baby girl.

At an early age he knew he was different, that something wasn't quite right or fitting when he was put in dresses and told “that's not very lady-like”. Of course it wasn't because he knew, he was no lady. It's a weight he wish he could shed, that he could have told his father who he really was. His mother, Krolia, assured him that his father would love him no matter what, but with the way others around him treated him, he began to really question that.

Shiro had been the only one for the longest time who knew as they grew up. In private he would call him Keith instead of Kayla, treated him like anyone else instead of something weird or even delicate. He helped him research binders and processes that needed to be taken to begin testosterone and of course, was there right beside him when he came out to his mother and their friends as trans. Shiro was his rock as well as his guiding light through the dark, so when that light effectively blew out, it was only natural that he became lost.

It was like a domino effect; Shiro enlisted, met Adam, Adam got a new teaching position and had to move, they got married before the move and then far too soon; Shiro was deployed. But all the while Shiro made sure to update over social media or send texts every so often. Even with the contact, Keith felt very much alone...

Keith shook himself from his thoughts, his hands on the doorknob; “I can't talk about this now, I have to get to work.”

“Keith-”

“Stop. Romelle, just stop, okay? If it was him, great, but that doesn't mean he wants to see or talk to me. Now I need to keep my head on straight so I can get through this double shift at the diner.”

“Keith...”

He opened the door, turning away from her; “My mom should be here soon, so just stay with Hima till she gets here. Thanks.” with that he was out the door and out in the snow as he walked down the icy sidewalks for his second job of the day.

***

Forty-five frigid minutes later did Keith walk in through the back door of the Marmora Diner. Ulaz gave him a sad look as he shucked off his layers to put on his apron and grab a small pad and pencil. He noted the rosy color of his cheeks and finger tips before wandering over with a cup of hot coffee in his hand.

“Thanks.” Keith said with a week smile, taking the offered beverage.

“No, thank you. Kolivan didn't expect everyone to come down with the flu.”

Keith shrugged; “As long as it's not me, it's all good.”

Ulaz gave a good natured laugh; “I feel that. Have a good shift.”

With a nod, Keith made his way to the front to begin serving customers.

He chatted with some of his other servers; Zethrid and Ezor, Due to being short staffed, Zethrid was placed manning the counter where she normally would have been in the back, while Keith and Ezor took the booths and tables. The crowds were thankfully manageable and the patrons weren't giving too much trouble save for the few that said their meal was cold or that one particular rude customer that said service was too slow even though they had just sat down.

Dinner rush was soon upon them and Keith made his way to the corner booth where a man with silver hair and beard had just seated. “Welcome to Marmora, can I start you off with something to drink?”

The man had dropped the menu as soon as he had picked it up at the sound of the honey rasped voice. “Keith?”

The name in the deep baritone sent a shiver down his spine and just like the man in the booth, he dropped the objects in his hands out of surprise; “S-Shiro?”

The man's silver eyes widened along with his smile. He jumped from the booth and threw his arms around the slimmer man; “Keith! It's so good to see you!”

It may have been a long four years, but a hug from Shiro was still one of the best feelings Keith had ever felt in his life. He returned the embrace; “You too.” he pulled back soon after, searching his friend's gray eyes, but instead of answers all he found were more questions; “What are you doing here?” his voice was strained as the words left his mouth.

“Uh... well...” he stepped out of the embrace, a hand clasping the tape of his neck; “I'm not really sure.” he motioned for Keith to take a seat in the booth.

Keith looked over to Ezor who was close by; “I'm taking my break.” was all he said before taking a seat.

Shiro twiddled his thumbs, a hint of a blush cropping up onto his cheek bones.

“You really do look like Santa.” Keith said with a chuckle.

“Huh?” Shiro said dumbfounded. But he was soon reminded of the little girl who had sat in his lap and cried that morning. The little girl with dark hair and star filled violet eyes, much like the man in front of him. “Wait, was she-”

Keith nodded; “My daughter, yes.”

“Wha- how? When?”

It was Keith's turn to blush; “Four years, five come April. Pretty sure you know the how.”

Shiro continued to stammer through his words; asking more of the who and why only to have Keith shake his head; “It's not important.” he said, giving a soft smile to let him know there was no malice; “What about you though? Last I knew you were sent over seas.”

“Yeah.... that's almost the last thing I remember too.”

“What?!” his voice had raised more than he had meant. He shrunk a little in his seat as the other patrons took a peek in their direction. He shook his head trying to block them out; “What do you mean?” he asked more quietly.

There was a shake of his friend's head and something within his eyes that told Keith; 'not here', much like himself not wanting to get into such a tale in public he decided to say; “So... you have a beard.”

Shiro laughed. It was an awkward and un-expetced segue, but none the less welcome. He supposed this part was the less hurtful of the other topics; “I guess you could all it my divorce beard.”

“D-divorce? When did that happen?”

“Um... two, three years ago?”

If Keith had a drink, he was sure he would have spit-taked it. Here Shiro was before him after four years of no contact and now of all things to learn he was single. Something wasn't adding up. He wanted to ask again, but saw the assistant manager, Antok, come out of the back; he knew his break was almost over. He hastily grabbed the pencil and pad of paper off the floor and scribbled down a few things before handing it to Shiro; “My break is almost up, but here's my number and address. I have tomorrow off,” he paused; “hopefully. I really want to catch up.”

Shiro smiled; “I'd like that.”

Keith stood from the booth, re-positioning himself in the way he had been when he had first come over, his own smile now on his face; his first in awhile; “Now what can I get ya?”

***

Sure enough, Keith at least did have the morning off. He received a call from Shiro early the next morning, arranging for him to come over for some breakfast. It took some doing to convince his mother to take Himalia out for the day without her prying. She knew what Shiro meant to him and wanted nothing more than to protect her son, just like he wanted nothing more than to protect his daughter.

“I can see that.” Shiro said with a light chuckle as he took off his coat, placing it on one of the nearby hooks; “Would be kind of weird to see 'Santa' having coffee with her papa.”

Keith showed him into the kitchen, the house despite being two stories was quite small and cramped. A tree rested in the corner of the living room with some homemade ornaments and lights, a stocking was tacked to the wall with the name Hima in glistening gold on the cuff and a few other knick-knacks littered about along the TV and coffee table. The kitchen was equally small, but had less holiday decor save for the drawings on the fridge of Santa and his reindeer.

Shiro took a seat at the table while Keith plated up some of the french toast he had made. The two ate in silence, not knowing what to ask or how, but once the food was gone and the sips of the second cups of coffee were taken, it was Keith who decided to just break the ice. “So... you and Adam?”

“Yep.”

“For three years?”

“Yep.”

A sad sigh passed through his lips. He reached his hand out to place atop of Shiro right, only to withdraw it quickly as he felt cool metal instead of warm flesh; “Shiro....” his eyes looked to the metal hand, then up to his friend's face. The gray eyes looked sad and disappointed. “What happened?”

“I honestly can't tell you... I was deployed as you know. I was on a mission and the next thing I knew there as an explosion and my fighter was crashing to the earth.” he looked to his hand, shying away a little, retracting it so Keith didn't have to look at it; “Sorry, I should have told you that I don't have my arm at least.”

“What?” and just as those words came out did he reach for the hand again, placing it between both of his; “No, Shiro, don't be sorry. I was just shocked to feel something that was metal. It's nothing you should hide, at least not from me.”

“Thank you.” he said after a moment of silence. He flexed the fingers around one of Keith's hands, as if to absorb some strength so he could continue; “When I woke up I was back home in the hospital with no one but a nurse in the room who had just happened to be there. The doctor came in soon after and told me I had been in a coma for almost two years and when I asked about my husband... well...”

“Adam broke up with you while you were in a coma?” it was hard to believe, but when Shiro nodded, Keith's heart sank.

“I can't blame him.”

“Well I can.”

Shiro laughed; “Okay, I can, but I really don't fault him. After a year had gone by and I hadn't woken up he lost hope. He was there almost every night with me and I guess he ended up getting close to one of the night nurses.”

“I'm assuming you talked with him.”

“Kinda had to when the doctor pointed to the divorce papers on my night stand. But it's okay and I told Adam as such. He felt terrible, but I gave him my blessing and apologized for putting him through so much pain.”

Keith sighed, “Of course you did.... Only you would apologize for being in a coma; a thing that was beyond your control.”

He shrugged; “What can I say? It felt like the right thing to do.” he saw Keith shake his head before he continued once more; “After that I stayed with my friend Allura who was helping me with physical therapy as well as talking with a therapist. It was on her behest that I return to where I was last truly happy and maybe pick up the pieces.”

“I would have come and got you.” he said in earnest.

“I know, I just...”

And like he always had, Keith could read the expression like an open book; “No matter how much you change on the outside, you're still you.”

He nodded and squeezed his hand again; “So... Himalia?”

Keith nodded in return; “I guess it is my turn, huh?” he sighed; “Not long after you moved away I started to feel really lonely and depressed.... to the point where I was just sleeping around.”

“Keith...”

“They weren't strangers.” he stated before Shiro could possibly jump to that kind of conclusion; “But they weren't exactly close friends either. Anyway, long story short, one guy I was with got me pregnant and when I told him, he...” he paused, closing his eyes. He hated this part most of all; “He told me 'real men can't get pregnant', called me a freak and that he wanted nothing to do with me or the baby.”

“Oh, Keith.... If I knew I would have...”

“Would have what? Coma walked all the way back here?” his tone was light in his sarcasm.

Shiro relented with a laugh of his own; “If I had known how you were feeling after I left, I would have done something for you. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Don't worry about it. Her dad may be an asshole, but I couldn't imagine my life without her.” His eyes were gentle as he gazed into Shiro's; “It was hard, I'm not gonna lie. There were days I couldn't stand to look at myself because he was right; men don't get knocked up, but then there were nights where I would just look out the window and feel her inside me and think; some men don't, but there are some who are lucky to have this feeling. It was strange and confusing, yet some how calm and soothing all at once.”

“I wish I could have been there for you.”

“I wish you were too, but I wasn't alone thankfully. I had Mom and Roms and Hunk.”

“Hunk?”

“The cook at the diner. I swear he fussed over me more than my own mother during my last trimester.”

“I'm glad. How are you doing now?”

“Better... sort of...” he sighed; “Once I got pregnant I kind of had to put things for myself on the back burner. The job I had that had insurance let me go and I had to scramble to find work. So now I work two jobs and take extra shifts when I can just to make ends meet.” and it was that last thought, that last sentence that broke the dam. Feeling the well in his eyes he turned his gaze away; “I don't even get to see my own kid...”

“I know...” was all he could say as he rubbed comforting circles with his thumb on Keith's hand.

Before he could ask the obvious, Keith stopped himself, instead keeping his gaze on their hands; “Did Hima say something?”

“She said that you work all the time and wanted me.... well Santa, to give you a present too.”

“You're a pretty damn good present, I have to say.”

Shiro's cheeks began to flush again, his flesh hand rising to his beard to scratch the side of his face. It was odd, he thought; since the beard had grown in his face didn't itch, but all of a sudden it felt like he couldn't stand it.

“You okay?”

“Yeah... just...” scratch, scratch, scratch. And that's when it came like a run away train, blindsiding him. Just like when they were kids, a soft, gentle smile that was always meant just for him formed on Keith's face.

Without a word, Keith rose from his seat, tugging on Shiro's hand in his, signaling him to follow. He does easily, so easily in fact it was like they were kids again; always trusting, no questions asked. Keith escorted him into the bathroom and had him sit on the toilet as he rifled through the medicine cabinet and drawers. Moments later he pulled out an electric razor and held it out to his friend; “You look uncomfortable.”

Shiro stared at the object in hand as he continued to scratch. “But I'm Santa.” he said with a playful pout.

Keith just shook his head, placing the razor into the other's hand then wordlessly left the room.

It was sometime later that Shiro had emerged now freshly shaven and Keith could have sworn his heart skipped a beat. There before him stood the man he trusted with all his being, the man who made him feel safe, the man who had captured his heart from an early age. Keith walked into the other man's space, raising a hand to his cheek and grazed his knuckles along the now smooth skin. Shiro leaned ever so slightly into the touch, brushing his lips against said knuckles.

“It's good to have you back...” Keith said.

“It's good to be back. Shiro replied. There was something in their words that seemed to ground both of them, something familiar yet brand new. Shiro put his arms around Keith's trim waist; “This okay?”

Keith moved his arms to drape over Shiro's broad shoulders; “More than.”

They inched closer together, their lips barely making contact when the front door swung open and a chipper call of; “Papa! Papa!” echoed off the walls. Keith was quick to disengage from the taller man, his face flushed, but his smile bright. “Hi, Sweetheart.”

Himalia stopped in her tracks and stared at her father's face. The pure glee that soon swept over her was blinding as it was ear piercing as she let out a gasp and squee of delight. “He did it! He did it!!” she picked up full speed and leaped into her dad's arms.

“Who did what?” he laughed, hoisting his daughter up in his arms.

“Santa! I asked him to make you smile!”

Keith turned to Shiro then who seemed to blush all the way up to the tips of his ears; “Yeah... he sure did.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> One thing I know that should have been in the story, but wasn't due to it not flowing well when I went to add it in;  
> Romelle is there with the school as a chaperon in place of Keith who took an extra shift that morning for his 1st job. She had excused herself to use the rest room, letting the other chaperon know, but said other adult was to busy flirting with some of the holiday help to pay attention to the kids and failed to notice the bullying and Himalia running off.
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LusciaKoushiro) to see how fics are progressing! ^_^


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